Bound by an Oath is a historical novel, an adventure story, and it is a romance, but it is not your usual kind of romance. (Spoiler alert! If you have not finished the book, you may be best not to read this post until after you have.)
The two main characters truly love each other but their relationship is not a sexual one. At least I didn’t intend it to be! When asked whether they ever consummated their relationship, I have simply said that I left it up to my readers to decide! Someone described the story as one of “monkish unrequited love”, which is partly true, except that their deep love is acknowledged by both of the partners, and so, in that sense it is not “unrequited”.
There are many different kinds of love, not that you’d notice if all you read is “bodice ripping” romance novels, and all you watch is popular TV. In popular culture sex hardly seems to be connected to anything other than physical desire, like hunger and thirst. That was not how it was in the fifth century, however, or probably in any century until reliable birth control was invented!
On a side note: It seems as if we might be coming full circle in our attitudes toward sex within a relationship. I’ve noticed several times recently that characters in TV shows have decided not to have sex in the first five minutes of meeting, as a sign that their relationship is very special!
So, what about the relationship between Aethelreda and Paulos?
There are hints about the nature of their relationship, of course. We know that Fra Paulos feels attraction towards the beautiful Cantii Queen, but he is disturbed by that attraction because it is antithetical to his monastic vows. If he had spent longer in Lower Combe on that first trip, perhaps he would have been tempted beyond his ability to resist. Who knows?
And what of Aethelreda? Initially she wants to take Paulos as her husband. He would have made an ideal mate for her – he is handsome, intelligent, kind, and NOT a relative! She does not understand the prohibition against sexual relationships in monastic life, and she thinks it is unnatural. But then, as the story continues, and the adventure unfolds, you will discover why she takes no delight in the physical side of love.
But what of that night in their house on the outskirts of Rome, you ask? What about the year they spent together? Surely during that time they consummated their love? Perhaps. (If you need that to happen to enjoy the story, then by all means let’s say that they did!)
While in Rome Aethelreda realizes she will never be truly happy with her people living in captivity in Britain, and her affections are pulled away from Paulos and back to her homeland.
The relationship between Aethelreda and Paulos is one of admiration and respect, and a kind of courtly love and deep tenderness that was celebrated in the Middle Ages. It is enough to last them their whole lifetime, and perhaps even beyond that.
Yes, that is very different from what we label “romance” today.
Bound by an Oath is no ordinary love story.
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